Deal with what gives you fear

My mum was triggered again when she saw me working. Started talking about my channel has not many people watching already. And that I should find a job outside. It is pretty demotivating to me and it got me feeling low. But I feel I can handle it better. I also think it's not the time yet to go outside and find a job. Honestly I'm not really sure what kind of job I can get except teaching. I also don't want to teach English to private secondary school because I know my English is not that good. Primary school probably okay but private, is stressful. Now with covid, even lack of will to go work at crowded places. I just hope i don't have to go out work outside anymore. Now I just need to focus and have a goal for my channel or business. Today I read about fear. It is okay to have fear. I just need a plan to tackle whatever that's giving me fear. 

(my current project - miniature castle. Quite a good Dollhouse)

Rei walked more today when she is not paying attention on her walking. Also needed to coax and give her encouragement for her to walk.

(coaxing her with a pineapple)

(her face when I just gave her her pacifier. Before the pacifier she was whining)

After her lunch, as usual I went to do massage. Rei was with me but today she didn't let me to use my phone. She would throw a tantrum when I used it - body arched, laid flat and cry. So I didn't use. And she held my phone and powerbank throughout. When she was exploring the powerbank, she would peek at times towards my phone to make sure it's still where she left it. Haha.


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